From the moment I first started at this store there has been a certain amount of animosity I felt directed at me. A general coolness if you will. I took it personally at first. But then I realized… I’m not a plastic! THAT’S why they don’t like me!! I’m not exactly like them. And with a sigh of relief I thought “Oh thank GOD! I don’t wanna be like them!! I’m good with this”
mrs George was cordial, and at times she even vented a bit.. Maybe even shared a tid bit of (what I called) non angry information. Rare. But it happened.
There was one day however that I began to think about (in retrospect) as “the turning point”. That was the day the media announced there would be a 50 shades of grey: the movie!!! With excitement that is usually reserved for small children on Christmas morning, Mrs. George met me at the office door. Bouncing from foot to foot she said “I’ve been waiting for you!” I replied, “well, is this a girls going to the bathroom in pairs thing? Because I just went and I don’t feel like walking all the way to the bathroom with you just so you can talk to me while you pee”
I was once again met with her withering stare as she said “such a smart ass ALL the time, aren’t you? Well, for your information, I don’t have to pee!” I said.. “Oh is this a new exercise then?? Cuz I hate exercise!” mrs George just looked at me , sighed heavily and said “JESUS lord shut up and listen!! There is going to be a NEW 50 shades of grey movie!! They haven’t cast it yet, and I don’t know when they’ll start filming it, but I was wondering.. (As she’s looking down) if you would like to go with me when it premieres?? My husband won’t go and well, I know you like the books too so you wanna?” Now, at the tip of my tongue was a smart ass comment like “oh, it’s like prom!!” Or, “wow! A date with you for an as yet cast, or filmed movie for some obscure time in the future??? Sure!!” But instead, looking at Mrs George and realizing she had no other girlfriends she could (or would) ask, I said proudly “yes Mrs George! I will go to the movies with you, but you must know I require a large popcorn with butter AND salt, a large dr pepper and a package of junior mints. Now, I don’t share so you are on your own for your snacks!” And with that statement a very tiny smile appeared on Mrs George’s lips and she said “okay, good” and I actually felt like this was a good thing. A turning point in our work relationship. Until she said, “now, Penelope, don’t tell anyone we are going and I’ll deny I ever asked you! Don’t embarrass me!”
And with that, turning point vanished. Sweetness gone. Plastics returned!
Maybe someday I’ll get to see the real Mrs George. Unless this is it. Lord help me.