Monthly Archives: October 2014

An update from Regina!!

As you all know, Regina left us to go work at a mortgage lender. Well, curiosity got the best of me and I had to ask Mrs G if she had heard from her.. Knowing damn well that she had… This is how our conversation went…

Me: Have you heard from Regina?

Mrs G: Yes.

Me: AND??

Mrs G: and what?!! She bitched and bitched about having to work an 11 and 1/2 hour day the other day. Well… I told her to quit her bitching cuz that’s all I’ve been doing all the time and I’ve got this pliner event. I’m too busy for all of her bitching!!

She’s like a blind man searching for his contacts. Pot. Meet Kettle.

~P

My boss asked me a question…

So I get to work today and as usual I go upstairs to talk to my store manager. Just to keep the lines of communication open and to make sure we are all on the sane page!!! As I was leaving tho… He said to me.. “Wait, Penelope I have a question for you.. “. I said “sure! What’s up?” To which he responded… “Is it just me or is mrs George wayyyy crabbier than normal?? And I mean, she’s normally very crabby but THIS.. Oh my.. This is 10 times crabbier!!!”

All I could do was laugh and say.. “If she says ONE MORE TIME ‘I have a pliner event and I’m too busy’ I’m gonna stab her in the eye”.

so he said.. “What you are telling me is that Mrs G has an event, right??”

~P

The event from Hell II

Evidently, writing a blog about Mrs G has the same affect on her as saying “beetlejuice” 3 times to summon him. As I’m sitting down to dinner (my mind still reeling from the 7 episodes of Blacklist I watched on netflix today) I received texts from Mrs G including the following:

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A. I don’t exactly know what she means by “carving” out a shop… Lol… But I’m not gonna ask.. And

2. We’ve gone from death to stroke. I’m gonna keep a copy of the “signs of a stroke” pamphlet at my desk just in case.

I cannot wait until HER event is over!!!
Btw.. She was OFF today!!
~P

The event from HELL (for me)

If I hear this sentence out of Mrs G’s mouth ONE more time I’m Going to need bail money. Let me point out that NO ONE wants that to happen, because I look atrocious in Orange. (I look like I should be working at Home Depot too). But, orange is not my color. But, I digress… If I hear her say “I have a Pliner event and it’s gonna kill me”, I’m going to kill her.

In June Mrs G found out that she would be hosting a Donald Pliner shoe event. I know, I know.. Who is he? I dunno.. A shoemaker who makes 400 dollar boots. Yeah, I know. And 400 is the low end of the spectrum. Well, this Pliner event means that he’s making a personal appearance in the store and will be signing the shoes people purchase. I don’t know that I would want to pay 400 for boots and then have him use a sharpie to autograph them. Call me crazy. The point is, Mrs G has been OUT OF CONTROL.

The goal is 30,000 dollars. With 30 associates that’s 1000 dollars each. Not a big deal. Well, for Mrs G EVERYTHING about this event has been a big deal. (Why am I surprised??)
All she has to do for the event is issue goals to associates and call a rental company to get a couch and pipe and drape for the day of the event. The company will measure, deliver, set up and take away. Not hard.

A NORMAL person would organize this, make the one phone call and coach her associates to sell the shoes. Not Mrs G… She’s been the Tasmanian devil of events. A whirlwind of activity and buzz and flurry happening over this event. Each whirlwind culminating in the phrase.. ” I have a Pliner event and it’s gonna kill me”.

Let me give you an example…

A calm Tuesday morning at work. Event date is 4 weeks away… She kramers her way into the office, personal cell in hand and says… “This pliner event is gonna kill
Me! I’m receiving email after email after email about it and I don’t know who to call to get pipe and drape and I went to rent a center to rent a leather couch and crystal wants to put an Aztec blanket on the floor instead of an Aztec rug.. She’s so stupid.. I don’t know what to do about FOOD ..and I have a $5000 budget!!” I said “For FOOD??? You have a $5000
Budget??! That’s AMAZING!!! Well.. no WALMART CUPCAKES THAT’s for SURE!!! “. She said.. “Penelope! Don’t be ridiculous! First of all, I don’t DO Walmart cupcakes!!!! HELLO!’ I wouldn’t feed Walmart cupcakes to my WORST enemy!! RIDICULOUS! And second, NO it’s a $5000 budget for the WHOLE thing and I can’t use an Aztec towel or blanket for a rug! That’s ridiculousness! I don’t know where to get anything and I’m getting no help whatsoever!! What am I supposed to do?! This event is gonna kill
Me!” I said.. “Mrs G.. SNAP OUT OF IT, or I’m gonna slap you! You call event source get the pipe and drape, couch, and accent rug for the event from
Them! Easy! Now, you call maggianos and have it catered with hors D’oerves and go from there!! Done!!”

Disgusted, she looks at me and says.. “Penelope.. It’s not An ACCENT rug, it’s an AZTEC rug!! UGGGG!! This event is gonna KILL me!” And with that, she Mrs George’d me. Again.

4001 vs 2.

~P

Mrs G and her Facebook status’ (part 2)🏆

If Mrs. G had Facebook…

What’s with all thIs Ebola talk? Calm
Down. I’m over Ebola. #ebolaforlife

Taco Bell called. 2nd interview tomorrow. #ihatethisplace

The schedule is so not fair. Hannah has only one late. #icoulddobetter

I hate people. All people. Everywhere.
#notapeopleperson

Penelope likes to hug. That’s Gross.
#donttouchmeever

Starbucks called. I got the job!
#baristaforever

~P