Monthly Archives: November 2014

The Eulogy

Sounds like a short story title Doesn’t it?? Yesterday, I was asked to give the eulogy for my grandfather. A million thoughts have run through my mind, memories long forgotten have come back. I’m attempting to write a poignant, yet funny Eulogy as an ode and a goodbye (for now) to the man I called Papa. It’s has been very cathartic and has given me an opportunity to grieve and remember. ❤️❤️❤️. I hope I make him proud!!

~P

Thanksgiving 🍗

Today is a day set aside for a LOT of
Delicious food, time with friends and family and an opportunity to think about how grateful we are for our blessings. This week has been a tough one… Losing Papa and working through those feelings has given me an opportunity to really examine my
Life and all the blessings I have. The lasagna is in the oven so I’m taking a break to reflect and give thanks for everything in my life. 😁

Of course, I am grateful for my insane parents, brother and extended family..

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Even though we have fights and disagreements, there’s also a lot of love there. Deep, deep,
Deep down, beneath layers of resentment, hurt and anger, there IS love!! My family has helped make me the woman I am today. And as much as we all may argue, fuss and fight, I know they are there for me.

I’m thankful for the Big D. As a corporation, they respect the meaning of this holiday and have chosen to remain closed allowing us precious time to spend with friends and family.

I’m grateful for Mrs G. For all of her faults and foibles, she has helped me to open my eyes and understand, truly understand, that life is too short to complain, and bitch and moan.

I’m grateful for this blog, and you my dear readers. It’s SOO fun to write this and it’s even more fun to read your comments on my posts!!! ❤️ thank you all for taking the time out of your busy schedules to visit and enjoy my blog!

I’m grateful for my friends. I have the best group of friends who would drop everything at a moments notice to help me with ANYTHING.

I’m grateful for the children in my life. All 4 of them have taught me the joy of wonder and of learning. I adore them.

I’m grateful for the one person who brings so much laughter, love, light and faith into my life. The person who believes in me no matter what (even when I don’t believe in myself). The person who has my back no matter what and makes me laugh so hard I spit coffee everywhere. (And sometimes have to dance around doing the pee pee dance). The person who makes me feel loved. Every day. Even when I’m not very lovable. I FEEL the love. Every day. The person who encourages me, understands me and inspires me. For all this and more, I am forever grateful. I’m blessed beyond words.

And as I spend a quiet day relaxing and reflecting I realize I’m the luckiest girl in the world. I have Love, laughter and lasagna. What more could a girl want??

~P

Perhaps there’s an easier way..

I strive to be as efficient as possible. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. However… What I witnessed today takes the cake on inefficiency… It made me giggle and made me think of the turn of phrase “the blind leading the blind!”.

So, picture it.. Executive office this afternoon… I’m printing out the last of my signage for Black Friday.. 4 signs and then I’m done.. When in walks Joey Fatone carrying a fry pan.. He carries it into crystals office, she looks up the price and then types up a sign. No biggie. Two seconds later he’s back. Carrying a keurig. Same thing happens… He takes it to crystal.. She types up a sign… He goes back to the floor. Only to come back with an electric fryer. Same thing. Then he comes back with a quilt. Next, a box holding a place setting. After that a fiesta bowl. I swear he was starting to wear a path in the carpet. What the hell?! So, as he’s lugging in a piece of luggage I had to say it..

“Joey Fatone!! What the hell are you doing???” He says.. “I need to know how much these are going to be on Black Friday to print the signs. I’m checking them and then printing the signs.”

My reply? “Joey.. You sell 68,000 different items. It would take you a YEAR to check everything! Why don’t you just print the master list in google sites and print THOSE signs??”
He looked totally befuddled and said to me.. “There’s a master list??”

Seriously. How do these people get hired??

~P

Signs

It’s very rare that anything in cosmetics or fragrances goes on sale. However, as we are approaching Black Friday I received a long list of fragrance sets that are going on sale at 30% off. I needed signs for aforementioned sale and therefore, had to search. To no avail, I approached Mrs G and the following is our ensuing conversation:

Me: Hey, Mrs G. I have some sets that are going 30% off on Black Friday.

Mrs G: ok? And?

Me: and I need signs for them.

Mrs G: what kinds signs?

Me: 30% off signs. I can’t find them anywhere.

Mrs G: you need 30?? Or do you need 30% off?

Me: no. 30% off signs

Mrs g: 30?

Me: no! 30% off signs.

Mrs G: how many?

Me: I don’t know. A lot.

Mrs G: mmmmm, I don’t know where you can get 30 signs. Do they have to say 30% off??

Me: are you HIGH?? FORGET IT! JESUS!

I realized at this point we sounded like a bad Cheech and Chong skit.
Lord. Help. Me.

~P

Who needs INSPIRATION??? 🏆

The Penelope tracker app was in full
Force today!!! I walked in to work and immediately see Mrs G. Coming down the escalator towards me. She says.. “Well, did you find out about the service for your grandfather??” I reply.. “No, but thank you. Should know later today.” She says.. “Fine. Let me know” and walks away. This is as comforting as Mrs G Gets and it’s also her way of letting me know she’s in a MOOD!! (She’s like a human mood ring sometimes.. I can tell by her breathing and her sentences how she’s feeling… And today.. She was feeling low).

So I go upstairs to start my day and end up in ladies fragrance. I am moving stock and helping the team. Like a vampire … Mrs G appears.. I’m in the middle of a conversation directing two associates on a project and then I’m paged. I look at Mrs G And she’s standing in her “position” hand on hip, foot extended and tapping her toes. I just looked at her. It was like a stare down and she left.. Off to Starbucks… Was she filling out an app or getting a tea?? I had to know so I walked down there and she’s in line getting her tea.. She looks at me and says absolutely nothing. Not a word. So I ordered my coffee and we walked back to the store. Halfway back to the store I said “oh look!!! We can see Santa down there!! He’s a GREAT Santa!!! Isn’t he Mrs G??” Disgusted (as if I just suggested she ingest poison) she says “I can’t believe it’s that’s time of year again! AGAIN!! I HATE THIS TIME OF YEAR!! I do!! It’s nothing but disgusting shit!”

( OMG SERIOUSLY??? This is a TIME to celebrate the birth of baby JESUS and practice love and hope and goodwill. Peace on earth??!!!! ). This was all my inner voice SHOUTING!! My inner child (wearing a Santa hat and eating a candy cane) is FREAKING OUT!! So I said.. “Mrs G.. There’s gotta be SOMETHING you like about this time of year??! Christmas carols, presents, cookies.. Cakes.. Yummy foods?? NOTHING??!! NOT A THING!! ???”

Her response: “UM, SOME of us have work to do around here.” (Her tone was that of an adult speaking to a child!). I was a little taken aback but was bound and determined to make her see it my way and then it hit me…
I said.. “Fine. If you are gonna be a Scrooge then I’m calling you Scrooge.” She just gave me the look. 😾.
Undeterred, I continued.. “Let’s have a girls day and you can come over and we will gorge ourselves on hot cocoa and Christmas movies!! We can watch Scrooge and all those lifetime movies!!!”

She stopped in her tracks, turned to me and said.. “I don’t like hot cocoa. I don’t like lifetime and I don’t like movies. So no.” And she walks away. Mrs Georging me. One step forward, two steps back.

WHO HATES HOT COCOA????
Someone needs a new light up necklace!!

~P